Twelve Questions Women Don't Want to Ask Their Plastic Surgeons


Lois W. Stern

When I speak to women who are considering some form of cosmetic surgery, they often ask me questions they don’t want to pose to their plastic surgeons. Sometimes they don’t even realize these questions are buried deep inside of them. If I sense hesitancy, I advise them to think through this question first: “Is there anything about my life that I hope might change as a result of cosmetic surgery?"

I have learned how important it is for prospective patients to answer this question honestly before making the decision to undergo any form of cosmetic surgery. Some expectations are reasonable. Others realistically cannot be achieved.

But when all is said and done, cosmetic surgery can be an emotional experience for many of us. Here are 12 interesting questions women have asked me. How many of them would you like to ask yourself?
  1. Will I be happier later?

  2. Am I putting my life at risk?

  3. I’ve gotten varied recommendations for the surgical procedures or methods best suited for me.
    How do I make my decision?

  4. Am I being just plain vain to be having cosmetic surgery?

  5. What will my friends and/or family think of me?

  6. Should I tell others? If so, how much?

  7. If I don’t tell others, what explanations should I give them?

  8. Will it improve social aspects of my life?

  9. Will I feel like a different person after cosmetic surgery?

  10. Will cosmetic surgery impact on the way my partner responds to me?

  11. Will I respond differently - in the workplace, in social situations, in the bedroom?

  12. Will there be down sides to surgery? Will I have scars?
    Will I lose breast/nipple sensation if I have work done on my breasts?

Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery answers all these questions and more, through the experiences shared by over 100 women. It will make you laugh. It will make you better informed. It might even comfort or astonish you! But if you read this book, you will be ready to enter cosmetic surgery, or not enter it, secure in the knowledge that you are well-informed and have made good decisions for yourself.

Cosmetic Surgery was a most positive experience for me. If you decide this is for you, I want you to have as rewarding an experience.

Have a beautiful life in all respects.


Guest Book Review: Sex, Lies & Cosmetic Surgery

Three Doc's Blog

In Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery Lois W. Stern starts where some of the other books on the subject seem to stop:  with the questions people really, really want to ask but seldom do; with the answers they really want to have, but can't seem to find.

Stern did a substantial amount of work.  She conducted over 100 in-depth and intimate interviews with women.  She had some work done herself, so she's got credentials.  She tells the truth about her own experience, pushes aside some of the same old questions, (Am I a good candidate for X?  Should I tell anyone or just pretend it ’s the same old me?) and moves into fresh new territory.

She explores the questions that come up over and over again – and that one of the most frequently asked by women before they have cosmetic surgery is this: “Will I be happier later?”  That ’s such an honest question, and Stern finds it again and again as she listens to women’s stories.  We happen to think that a well-adjusted person who has cosmetic surgery can definitely be happier later.

[Hint: and they seem to think so, too.]  I mean, if you've gone through life feeling self conscious about your (insert body part here ________), you know the euphoria one can feel to look in the mirror and see sleek thighs where saddlebags once lived, or to see bright, flashing eyes that were once taken hostage by drooping lids and crinkled skin.

Stern did her homework.  She has extensive checklists. She has advice.  She talks about how we have to step up to the plate and partner with our doctor if we want to get the best possible results.  That means, among other things, coming clean about the prescriptions and non-rx meds we take, the truth about how and what we eat, our lifestyle habits (yeah, do you really go to the gym 5 days a week?  If not, say so!) and so on. You can't expect a surgeon to give you the best outcome if you give the bare minimum in terms of information, do you? This is an adult-to-adult collaboration, not Gepetto carving his wooden doll).

And if you don't pick an experienced board certified plastic or cosmetic surgeon, you shouldn’t expect a miracle, and stop obsessing over bargains while you're at it.  Your body is not a discount store.  It ’s precious.  Stern tells it the way she sees it.

She lists the 8 facts about cosmetic surgery that few people know.  She discusses the best way to avoid complications, the best reasons (and the worst) for having cosmetic surgery, and the most inspirational stories about the unexpectedly powerful benefits that many people gain just by walking around in their new-and-improved- skin.

For instance: we often read about how women come to feel invisible as we get older – ignored, even disregarded because we no longer have the outward marks of youth.  So, Stern wondered: what ’s it like to have a successful plastic surgery and suddenly be visible again – to receive positive feedback from others, to feel appreciated as a physical being?  The answers she got are intriguing.  And gratifying.  And sometimes, surprising.  Yes, we know outward appearance ’s not supposed to matter.  It ’s all about character.  Well, how about character and good looks?  Is there a law against having both?

She also tells about the impact of cosmetic surgery on our relationships:  socially, in the workplace, and in the bedroom.  Yes, the bedroom.  Because, did you know that many of us – after cosmetic surgery – have a much better time well, never mind.  Read her book and make up your own mind.

Lois W. Stern wrote a good book.  She ’s practical.  She ’s down-to-earth.  And she got a refreshingly different way of looking at cosmetic surgery.  As for the “Sex” in the title, as she says, “It’s no accident!”  She has a lot to say about the connection between cosmetic surgery and one’s sexuality. 

It ’s fascinating and remember… she interviewed over 100 women extensively.  Two women in a room have a lot to say, so you can imagine…

You can listen to an interview on her website here.

(c) 2013 by Lois W. Stern

Lois W. Stern is the author of the award winning book, Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery, (Infinity, 2006, 2013), also published in a revised edition with an interactive CD enclosure. Lois invites prospective cosmetic surgery patients, physicians, and media to visit her website to sign up for *F*R*E*E* gifts and goodies at: and read and respond to many more of her thought provoking and informative articles on her blog at: FabulousBeautyBlog.